No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
