I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
