She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize