I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
