Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize