So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize