Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
it glows. i had to have it.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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