My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
we should paint friendship bongs
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
