so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I cut my penus on the lid.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
