She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
