If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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