My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I have already put on my inside pants.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
