All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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