i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
