My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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