There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My dick has a subreddit
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
