she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
