All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
my poor anus
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
