If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
