we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
