My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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