he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
