oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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