She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
