who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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