so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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