I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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