Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just forgot I was standing up.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
