Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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