Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
