I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
