So drunk its hurt
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
