What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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