can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
