the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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