I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
