like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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