So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
