the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Are we still banned from the library?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
