we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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