Are we in a gay sports bar?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
