You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
