yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
