I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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