did you get engaged???
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
