Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
