Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
