OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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