i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
