so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
