if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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