that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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