his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
