White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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