??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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