Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize