This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
