Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize